


Because I Love You

by quietcloud



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, it's angsty but the end is all cute and happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 18:43:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4490547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietcloud/pseuds/quietcloud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia and Stiles fight because she doesn't want him to go on a mission with the pack but Stiles doesn't want to stay behind and watch his friends get hurt. Lydia isn't totally honest about why she cares so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Because I Love You

"We need to talk." Lydia's voice was tight and she crossed her arms over her chest. Stiles looked at her and when his eyes met her serious gaze, he gulped loudly. This wasn't going to be good. He held in a sigh and got closer to her. He tried to take her hands in his, but she wouldn't let him.

"I'm serious Stiles, we need to talk." Her words were a bit monotonous, as if she had rehearsed them a thousand times in her head.

"What's up?" Stiles was trying to speak in a lighthearted voice and made a small smile, but it didn't seem to calm Lydia down. On the contrary, she rolled her eyes at him with an exasperated huff. The boy cleared his throat and spoke again.

"Come on, tell me. You know you can tell me anything." This time, the words felt sincere and Lydia looked up to him with big, worried eyes.

"Lyds, tell me. What happened?"

"It ... It hasn't happened yet." Lydia's breath was sharp. She seemed to have trouble getting the words out.

"What hasn't happened yet? Is it related to your banshee powers? Did you feel something?" Stiles was starting to worry. They still didn't understand her powers completely yet. The only sure thing he knew was that they always meant danger, and death.

"No, I don't feel anything supernatural." Stiles released the breath he was holding. At least no one was dying.

"So what's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just ... You can't go out with the pack on Friday." Her voice was firm.

"Why? You know they need me."

"Yes. But it's dangerous. And I ..." Lydia stopped and disguised the last word as a cough. " _We_ need you alive."

Stiles had had this conversation a million times before. After countless arguments, he had convinced Scott he should come with them. To be honest, he had mostly convinced his best friend that there would be no stopping him, but it still counted. Stiles wanted to help his friends. He hated feeling useless and alone, staring out the window into the dark night as he heard the rain pouring down the roof and the distant howling of wolves.

"And you don't think I can fend for myself?" Stiles was on the defensive, his voice becoming a bit higher pitched.

"You can't heal like the others! You can't help them without putting yourself in danger. And then they'll have to save you and ..." Lydia lowered her voice and stopped talking as she saw tears starting to fill the chocolate colored eyes of the boy. Stiles blinked until they were gone. But when he opened his eyes again to look at Lydia, he looked broken.

"You think I'm useless?" The girl was at a loss for words. She had never seen Stiles like this and she had no idea how to respond. Nevertheless, she still didn't want him to go out and get hurt.

"Of course not, Stiles. But you have to stay home on Friday."

Stiles took a few steps back. He was tired of being the human, the weak one everybody else had to protect. Sure, he didn't have super strength and heightened senses, but that didn't mean he couldn't do anything. He was usually the brains of the operation, along with Lydia. But he didn't want to see all of his friends die one after the other because he was too weak. He was not going to stay behind. He closed his eyes and breathed for a while. Lydia had trouble containing her tears herself. She hated to see him hurt, but he couldn't know why she cared so much.

'I can't lose you Stiles'

'I need you'

'I love you'

All these thoughts were screaming at her, begging her to say them out loud. Lydia had dreamed so many times of saying them. But she couldn't. Not yet.

Stiles recomposed himself and looked at Lydia's emerald eyes with the most serious expression she had ever seen on him. "No." Only one word, but the tone of the boy's voice gave it so much meaning, so much power. He turned around and took a few steps towards the door.

"Wait! Stiles, we're not done yet. I still don't think you should..."

The door was slammed shut before she even finished her sentence.

 

The next day, Stiles didn't show up to their usual study date in the library. Lydia waited for him, alone at the large table. When they were both studying, they took up all of the space with their books and pens. Stiles wasn't very organized and always spread his stuff all over the place, which led to Lydia pushing them back on his side of the table and Stiles frowning. He would then push the books back and start a small war in which they used their pens as ammunition. And Stiles would make Lydia laugh so loud the librarian had to shush them many times and threatened to throw them out.

But on that day, Lydia was alone. She kept staring at the table in front of her for a while, where the boy's books and jittery hands were missing. She felt just as empty as that table. But she didn't regret their fight. She preferred to lose Stiles friendship over losing him forever. Still, she hadn't thought it would hurt that much.

The next few days were filled with stolen glances and awkward silences. Lydia would arrive at school in the morning and see him in the distance. She would start rushing towards him in the crowd before remembering she wasn't supposed to. Some days, she wouldn't realize and she would reach him and say 'hi', only to be met with an empty stare. They always used to sit next to each other in their shared classes, but now Stiles would always manage to sit at the opposite corner of the room. Lydia would try to catch his stare, but he always ignored her.

She kept repeating to herself that she had made the right decision, that it was for his own good. But each time she found herself alone, in the evening at home or even for five minutes in a toilet stall, she would start crying, almost drowning in her own tears. She was constantly reminded of his absence, and she wasn't sure if she would be able to handle it. But every time she thought about having lost him, she took in long breaths and reminded herself that it was the right choice.

 

Or at least it would have been, had he listened to her. On Friday night, he had gone out on that mission with the pack and she had lost him for nothing. Why couldn't he simply listen to her? Stiles never listened to her. Not when she asked him to take up less space in the library, and not when she didn't want him to die. And now it was too late. She was about to lose him forever.

During the whole night, she had had a bad feeling. She couldn't sleep, and had waited for the night to go by, staring out the window, looking absentmindedly at the stars. She just couldn't get herself to stop thinking. At midnight, Scott had called her. He was in the hospital, and Stiles was hurt. From that moment on, she didn't hear any of the alpha's explanations. She put on her shoes and ran to her car. She then broke all the speed limits that she could possibly break, parked on the first spot she found and ran up the stairs of the hospital. She didn't stop running until she reached Scott outside of Stiles room. She should have been incapable of running that long or that fast without running out of breath. But with Stiles hurt, her breath was already gone. It was like she was holding on for life. She wasn't sure if this was about their emotional tether or her feelings for him, but either way she just knew she couldn't live without him. And she fell a strong and constant pull in his direction.

"Where is he?" Scott met her stare with eyes filled with fear.

"He's in there with the doctors. They are doing some last tests and then we'll know how he is."

"But he'll be okay, right?" Lydia didn't believe what she was saying. She wanted to sound hopeful, to be strong for Stiles, but she couldn't. Her voice was like a strangled whisper.

"We don't know yet." Scott had deliberated whether he should lie to her, but he had then decided it was better to tell her the whole truth. So she could prepare herself for the worse.

Lydia had already prepared herself. She had thought about Stiles dying all week. But it didn't help. How could she ever be prepared for him to die? How can you ever be prepared to lose the person you love the most in the entire world? The thought made her eyes fill with tears and her breath sharpen. He couldn't die just now. He was so young. And there were so many things that she would never be able to tell him. She had never told him she loved him. It had taken her a long time to realize her feelings. And now it was too late.

She was sitting on a chair, her head buried in her arms, when she felt Scott's hand on her shoulder. Lydia looked up and saw Scott with a more hopeful expression than he had before. He pointed his finger in direction of their friend's hospital room and Lydia saw that the doctors were coming out and walking towards them. She jumped out of the chair and took Scott's hand in hers. She was going to need all the support she could get. But as Lydia was waiting to hear the bad news, she was surprised with the smile on the doctors' faces. "He'll be okay."

It suddenly felt like the two friends could breathe again. They looked at each other with beatific expressions. Lydia was walking towards the hospital room with Scott's hand still in hers when he stopped her.

"You should go first. I have a feeling you have something to tell him." Lydia's eyes were filled with gratitude, like she had waited her whole life for this moment, and Scott was giving her the chance to live it. She nodded with a smile and went in.

 

"Hey." Stiles spoke with a soft smile on his lips. He didn't seem angry, simply happy to see her.

"You're not mad anymore?" Lydia was talking carefully, still afraid of having lost his friendship.

"Of course not. You were right, I shouldn't have gone. Gosh, why are you always right Lyds?"

Hearing him say her nickname had a surprising effect on the strawberry blonde. She was so relieved about having him back that she didn't think about her actions. She stepped on her tiptoes, took his face in her hands, and pulled him towards her for a kiss. The boy was surprised at first, but then he reciprocated the embrace.

When they pulled apart, he asked "Woah, what was that for?" with a smirk on his lips. Lydia could see the light dancing in the boy's eyes and he looked at her the way every girl wants to be looked at. She took a deep breath, ready to say the words that she had been holding onto for so long.

"Because I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Don't forget to comment or leave a kudo if you did.


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